"Do your best" or "give it your best effort" are phrases most of have heard for the majority of our lives. And, there is something to be said for applying ourselves in a sustained, disciplined way over time. As a psychologist, I have seen way too many students who are giving their best efforts toward school. And while they have phenomenal grades and get into good colleges, their maximum effort comes at a price. Signs of unhealthy levels of effort include:
- trouble falling asleep at night because your mind won't shut off
- going past your normal bedtime routinely by an hour or more in order to get school work completed
- spending way more time on schoolwork than most of your peers
- persistent feelings of stress, anxiety, worry or depression related to school
- feeling pushed too hard by one's own or by one's parents' expectations
- engaging in little, if any, recreational time
- being unable to tone down your perfectionism
I promote the notion of
"give it your optimal effort" when it comes to important activities such as school, sports, music, etc. An optimal effort means that you apply yourself in a sustained, disciplined way to accomplish things. But, the effort is not a maximum one, at least not over time. It allows for balance, moderation, and an emotionally healthy life. Signs of optimal effort include:
- feeling like your life is in balance - there's time for studying, "down time", wandering time with friends, exercise, and creativity
- you don't feel stressed on a daily basis
- you can fall asleep pretty readily at bedtime and you sleep through the night most nights
- you feel encouraged and prompted to do well, but not too pushed by either yourself or your parents
- your natural ability and your grades seemed to be in balance (that is, there is neither under-achieving or over-achieving going on)
If you're concerned that you might be stuck in a cycle of over-achievement, chronic school stress, and a life out of balance, contact someone you trust for the name of a reputable mental health professional. In the Chicago metropolitan area, consider someone at
Heritage Professional Associates, with offices in Hinsdale, Wheaton, and downtown Chicago.
