And so the dreaded moment arrives when your son or daughter approaches you to tell you that they want to get a tattoo. It's not exactly like they're asking for permission. It's more like they're telling you something to find out how drastic your reaction is going to be before they proceed with putting permanent ink on their body.
For many of us parents from that 'older generation,' tattoos were reserved for servicemen returning from battle, or other demographic groups that we'd rather that our children not become affiliated with. But undeniably, tattoos mean something else today. They are obtained by people from all walks of life, and they're placed on all parts of the body, with a variety of art and accompanying messages. The dilemma as a parent is that if you fight the tattoo idea, your son or daughter is likely going to get the tattoo anyway, and you will be perceived as out of touch with modern times. And yet to just give consent seems to betray a nagging sense of something just not being right with someone at the age of 19 or 20 deciding to put something on their body which is permanent.
In my work with parents and their children of age who want to have tattoos, I make the following comments. First, I mention the generational tension in the previous paragraph. Then I point out that a sizable percentage of people who get tattoos later regret it and wish to have them removed. In fact there's a term for this, 'tatoo regret,' and it's estimated that about one third of tattoo wearers regret having gotten one.
And so what I propose is this. Parents pay for their son or daughter to get a temporary tattoo of the design and placement of their choosing. Parents pay to have the temporary tattoo redone for up to one year. If after a year, the son or daughter still wants to have the permanent tattoo, then parents give their consent.
Managing dilemmas is difficult. If you're in one and are struggling to find a solution, and you live in the Chicagoland area, consider seeing one of our fine mental health specialists at Heritage Professional Associates. If you're not in the Chicagoland area, ask someone you trust such as a friend, family doctor or clergy-person for the name of a reputable person.
