Let's start with two adages about resentment:
1. Resentment is like you drink a cup of poison hoping that it will hurt the other person.
2. If you want to bury someone with your resentment, dig two graves.
Resentment is the tendency to harbor negative feelings towards someone else for the perceived wrongs which they did to you. It's easy to get consumed with this mixture of anger, frustration, and desire to get even. But, resentment is like a pollutant that contaminates your nearly every waking moment. It's a holding onto a grudge, waiting for the apology which may never arrive. The person whom you perceive to have wronged you may have no idea that you're carrying around such feelings, and certainly doesn't realize how consumed you have become.
Resentment is not about forgiving another person. It is much more about releasing yourself from a host of negative emotions which are ruining your life. It's about not letting yourself organize your emotional life around someone else whom you have perceived to have wronged you. So, stop waiting for the apology. It may or may not ever come. But make the conscious choice to stop focusing on the negative and free yourself up to experience the positive, abundant aspects of life which are yours for the taking.
If you've tried, but cannot seem to get there from here, in the Chicago area consider seeing us at www.heritageprofessional.com. Outside of the Chicago area, ask someone whom you trust for the name of a reputable mental health professional.
