A teen's self esteem is created and maintained following the acronym C-U-B-E. Kids need to feel Competent. This means that they can set meaningful goals for themselves and work in some sustained way to meet these goals. Such goals can be very broadly defined such as school grades, physical prowess, playing an instrument, artistic talent, creating and sustaining high quality relationships, giving to the community, developing their spirituality, or becoming a better sibling / son or daughter.
Kids also need to feel a sense of Uniqueness. They need to feel like there is something special that defines them. They may symbolize this with a slightly different style of dress, hair, music that they listen to, or other area of interest that is a little different than the masses.
They also need to feel a sense of Belonging. This is so important to kids, that some will choose affiliation with less desirable groups (gangs, other kids you may not approve of) in order to feel a sense of belonging with others, particularly peers. Being socially isolated is a major cause of teen depression.
Kids also need Encouragement. They are particularly influenced by the encouragement of parents, teachers, and other adult role models. This means spending enough time with the teen to find out what's important to him or her.
If you sense that your teen suffers from low self esteem and you've tried everything you can to help him or her, in the Chicago area, consider seeing one of the mental providers of Heritage Professional Associates. Outside of the Chicago area, ask someone whom you trust for the name of a reputable mental health provider.
