Raising children, especially young children, can be exasperating. The constant demand for your time and attention, the natural self-centeredness of young children, and the difficulty of being able to get a break all contribute to natural and normal feelings of anger and resentment towards a young child. This is portrayed in a kind and humorous way in the delightful children's book, If You Give a Mouse a Cookie by Laura Joffe Numeroff. Meant to be read to a child, it is about a mouse's incessant demands. The child can laugh at the mouse's neediness and the parent can smile, knowing that this is not really about mice at all.
Think for a moment about our culture's most commonly sung and enduring lullaby. It's Rock a Bye Baby. What a beautiful, calm and pleasing melody. Now, think about the words. Let's see, we're going to put this little tiny package of 'joy' up into the top branches of a tree, and then sing this beautiful, calming melody about the child and cradle falling out of the tree and crashing to the ground, la,la,la,la, la....It is my speculation that the reason that this lullaby has persisted over time is that it provides an unconscious means for a parent to dissipate her / his negative feelings about the constant demands and needs of an infant. It's not acceptable to say to friends and family "I'm furious with my baby for his/her constant demands and needs" but it is acceptable to sing Rock a Bye Baby.
It's natural and normal to have these negative feelings. It doesn't make you a bad mom or dad. It's healthier to acknowledge the feelings and do all you can to get regular breaks from the constant demands. Of course this is not easy, but it is important nonetheless. For assistance in getting creative about how to do this, in the Chicago area, see one of our mental health professionals at Heritage Professional Associates. Outside of the Chicago area, ask someone you trust for the name of a reputable mental health professional.
