This is the time of year when many parents are sending their kids away to college for the first time. It's a bittersweet event. Of course it's what everyone expected for years, and in most respects it should be cause for celebration - a successful conclusion to childhood. And yet for many kids and parents alike, it's also a time for grieving, loss, mourning and anxiety.
Raising kids is a strange enterprise in this respect. If we do a good job raising our kids, they end up leaving us in the end. They go on to live their own lives apart from us. So, many parents whose lives have revolved around their children feel like they have not only lost their job, but they've lost most of what comprised their identity. It's a bitter pill even though this is the desired outcome.
Mark Schultz wrote a beautiful song entitled "Learn to Let Go". He eloquently described the rich and varied emotions that parents have toward their kids as they're leaving home. He recognized that everything we've done has been about helping our kids manage the challenges of life. We learned how to do this, but we didn't figure on how hard it would be to let go when their childhoods came to an end.
Managing this time of transition in the life of a family is best done when parents turn to their partners, friends, and their extended family for comfort rather than leaning on the child who has just left the 'nest.' While it's natural to phone, text, Facebook or email one another, this should be done sparingly on the part of the parent in order to encourage the child's adjustment outside of the home. Care packages are great, and occasional contact is really healthy. But, contact multiple times per day is not likely to be as helpful in assisting the child in his or her adjustment.
If you're tried everything that you can think of and are really struggling with this time of transition in your life, in the Chicago area, consider one of the mental health professionals at Heritage Professional Associates. Outside of the Chicago area, ask someone whom you trust for the name of a reputable mental health professional.
