Don Miguel Ruiz wrote a book called The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom. His premise is that there are four basic agreements which, if fulfilled, lead to personal freedom. They are: 1. always tell the truth; 2. don't take things personally; 3. don't make assumptions; and 4. always do your best
It came up in one of our staff meetings at Heritage Professional Associates (http://www.heritageprofessional.com) that a modification to these four agreements may be in order as it relates to improving relationships. And these four agreements are:
1. Show up. In other words, be present. Don't get distracted by other events of the day. When interacting with others, try your best to put aside other thoughts which are competing for your attention and focus.
2. Tell the truth. As in, always tell the truth. This is one of the most basic ingredients in establishing trust.
3. Don't get defensive. Remember that the connection is more important than your pride. I'm not saying that this one is easy, but it still is an important goal to try and attain.
4. Don't worry about the outcome. We are often so outcome oriented. But, to do connection well with others, we can stay more present and connected emotionally if we're not thinking about some other desired 'end' to the connection.
