The double bind of parenting

A few years ago, I happened to have two, new individual psychotherapy patients scheduled back-to-back. They were both 20-something year old adults. After telling me her reasons for wanting to come in for therapy, I asked the first patient to tell me a little about her background. She said something to the effect of "you know what I really resented about my parents? They forced me to play the piano. I wished that they would have listened to me and let me quit when I wanted to. They made me practice and go to lessons when I didn't want to." Then, the second person came in. When it came time for him to tell me about his background, he said, "you know what I resent about my parents? They let me quit playing the piano. I wished that they would have pushed me to keep playing. I would then be able to enjoy playing piano to this day." So....welcome to parenting. All that we can do is use our best judgment to respond to our children's needs. When you're not sure about how to figure out some of the bigger quandaries that children can pose, think about getting a professional consultation. In the Chicago area, come see us at http://www.heritageprofessional.com.